Loneliness and connectivity in these times


Frits Koster

Written by Frits Koster. Frits is the co-founder of an internationally recognised mindfulness programme: Mindfulness-based Compassionate Living (MBCL), and regularly leads events, retreats and training through the Mindfulness Network.


“This idea of shared humanity and the connections that we make with one another – that’s what, in fact, makes life worth living” – Clint Smith, author and scholar.

Some time ago, I read The Lonely Century” by economist Noreena Hertz. In her book she describes the worryingly growing loneliness around the world, which seems only to be intensified by social media, Covid, the climate crisis, the horrible daily news about the genocide in Gaza, the ongoing war in Ukraine and other hotspots of violence and the strong polarisation in views and increasing intolerance that can be sensed in many countries.

The theme touched me because I, myself, struggled with loneliness as an adolescent, and I couldn’t initially deal with this in a healthy way. This was a fertile ground for harshness, especially to myself (of course, it can also turn outward and become a breeding ground for harshness to others).

I am very glad that I met the practice of mindfulness at a young age, I experienced it as a lifeline. It offered a practical way in mindfully connecting with the present time experiences in body and mind, and in connecting more wisely and compassionately with myself and with the world around.

But it seems to me that just being mindful may not be enough in this present vulnerable and ‘bleeding’ world any more. Foundational mindfulness programmes like MBSR and MBCT offer a wonderful intrapersonal introduction. But the rapidly changing ‘lonely century’ may make an extra appeal on deepening mindfulness interpersonally too, with prosocial skills.

I really appreciate the Mindfulness Network for always being open to offer secular deepening programmes and retreats. I may mention three activities coming soon, with which we can develop the quality of connectivity:

  • Friday 12th – Sunday 14th September, there will be an experiential online Mindfulness-Based Training in Forgiveness (MBTF) weekend retreat. The MBTF was developed 2.5 years ago by Joyce Cordus and me. In this online retreat, we will explore different forms of forgiveness such as forgiving ourselves, asking for forgiveness and forgiving others. We will do this on an individual level, in relation to groups and communities and in the context of the increasing polarisation in the world around us. Dilemmas and challenges in practice will also be discussed and we will explore how we can and may respond to them in compassionate ways, with the intention to re-connect and ‘repair what is broken’. Click here for more information.
  • Between 1st October – 19th November, my Mindfulness-Based Compassionate Living (MBCL) ‘brother’ Erik van den Brink will offer an international online MBCL course (taking place on eight Wednesday evenings from 5.30 – 8 pm UK time). MBCL was created 18 years ago by Erik and me as a science-based secular course, to deepen mindfulness with ‘heartfulness’. It is officially recognised as a follow-up programme after MBSR or MBCT. Click here for more information – this course offers an opportunity to experience key features of MBCL and develop your own compassion-based practice. Participation in this course meets the pre-requisites for the MBCL Teacher Training programme (see below). 
  • At the beginning of 2026 Alison Evans and I will teach an international online MBCL Teacher Training programme together:
    • Orientation meeting – Mon 23rd February, 7-9pm.
    • Module 1: Sat 28th February – Mon 2nd March.
    • Module 2: Fri 6th March – Sun 8th March.

The MBCL Teacher Training is suitable if you wish to teach the 8-week MBCL course (for MBSR/MBCT teachers) and/or if you wish to teach elements of the MBCL in your work as a (health care) professional. Click here for more information about the training and how you can participate.


We hope to meet you at some of these events and opportunities to practice in ways that support us in meeting the conditions alive in our lives at the moment. A warm welcome.

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